{"id":3562,"date":"2013-09-17T12:28:08","date_gmt":"2013-09-17T17:28:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/?p=3562"},"modified":"2022-01-29T19:22:31","modified_gmt":"2022-01-30T01:22:31","slug":"this-one-time-at-ban-er-a-tecmo-super-bowl-tournament-i-met-former-cowboy-d-lineman-danny-noonan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/this-one-time-at-ban-er-a-tecmo-super-bowl-tournament-i-met-former-cowboy-d-lineman-danny-noonan\/","title":{"rendered":"One Time At Band\u2026er, a Tecmo Super Bowl Tourny I Met Danny Noonan"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_3563\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3563\" style=\"width: 471px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-3563  lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/danny-noonan-paul-eide-tecmo.png\" alt=\"Tecmo Super Bowl Tournament Danny Noonan\" width=\"471\" height=\"606\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/danny-noonan-paul-eide-tecmo.png 674w, https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/danny-noonan-paul-eide-tecmo-600x772.png 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 471px) 100vw, 471px\" \/><noscript><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-3563  lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/danny-noonan-paul-eide-tecmo.png\" alt=\"Tecmo Super Bowl Tournament Danny Noonan\" width=\"471\" height=\"606\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/danny-noonan-paul-eide-tecmo.png 674w, https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/danny-noonan-paul-eide-tecmo-600x772.png 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 471px) 100vw, 471px\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3563\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Danny Noonan walks into a bar for a Tecmo Super Bowl tournament\u2026and I question my sexuality. The end.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h1>My <strong>Tecmo Super Bowl<\/strong> Tournament performance on this day was a lot like my second sexual experience &#8211; just stupid and pointless for everyone involved.<\/h1>\n<p>If I\u2019ve learned one thing, and I mean\u00a0<em>one thing<\/em>, it\u2019s that watching a chick eat a banana is always awesome. Every time.<\/p>\n<p>Take a moment and think about that. Now\u2026.tell me I\u2019m wrong:<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3564\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3564\" style=\"width: 450px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-3564 size-full lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/juliette-lewis-eating-banana.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"549\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-3564 size-full lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/juliette-lewis-eating-banana.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"549\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3564\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Go ahead, save this image to your desktop for \u201clater.\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2>But life isn\u2019t just about bananas and chicks all the time. Sometimes, you gotta jam a little Tecmo Super Bowl in there, sprinkle in some light conversation with a former NFL first round draft pick and call it a Saturday.<\/h2>\n<p>You spend hours devising a game-plan for the tournament (set up by Matt Knobbe of <a href=\"https:\/\/tecmobowl.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">TecmoBowl.org<\/a>) but when the shit gets down to brass-tax that same game-plan is completely destroyed when Ken O\u201dBrien gets hurt on the first drive of a hotly contested New York Jets vs Dallas Cowboys match-up and you\u2019re already down 10-0.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3565\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3565\" style=\"width: 256px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-3565 size-full lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/TSB-Tony-Eason-Jets.png\" alt=\"Tecmo Super Bowl Tony Eason Stats\" width=\"256\" height=\"240\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-3565 size-full lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/TSB-Tony-Eason-Jets.png\" alt=\"Tecmo Super Bowl Tony Eason Stats\" width=\"256\" height=\"240\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3565\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">I\u2019ll take Tony Eason over Tony Romo every time<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>So what do you do, what<em>\u00a0can you do<\/em>?<\/p>\n<p>You bring in Tony Eason and promise God that you\u2019ll start doing things differently if only he could start moving a Jets offense that is amongst the worst in the game.<\/p>\n<h2>And then suddenly,<em>\u00a0he does<\/em>. Eason that is; not God.<\/h2>\n<p>&#8220;He&#8221; rallies you, with a little help from Freeman McNeil (fuck you Blair Thomas) and you\u2019re suddenly up 14-10 at the half and you\u2019ve got a game on your hands.<\/p>\n<p>My man-boner was reduced roughly 46% when Tommie Agee began going hog-wild and effectively dominated the second half.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re now down 17-14 after a 15 yard Agee scamper for a TUD with just over 1:20 left in the game.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3566\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3566\" style=\"width: 350px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3566 lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/maria-sharapova-eating-banana.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"248\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3566 lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/maria-sharapova-eating-banana.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"248\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3566\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Maria Sharapova knows what\u2019s up.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>But Tony Eason is undeterred and leads the squadron, with some help from Rob Moore, to a game tying FG as time expires. Erection restored.<\/p>\n<h2>In OT, you lose the coin toss, your opponent kicks a 60+ yard FG to win it, and you never even get to posses the ball, to feel \u201cit\u201d in your virtual, 8-bit hands.<\/h2>\n<p>Part of you (guess which \u201cpart\u201d) feels like you\u2019ve won because of your over-performance with a shitty Jets team when all the chips were down, but at the end of the day, you\u2019re just another loser with shit on his face; and a semi-hardon. No shortage of either category in a bar on a Saturday afternoon where the <a href=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/chicks-in-bikinis-dudes-in-suits-get-10x-more-dates\/\">dude to chick<\/a> ratio is at least 57:1.<\/p>\n<p>This game, and the dude to chick ratio, was an ample metaphor for all three of my \u201cpool play\u201d games, going 0-3 and losing by a total of 10 points, each game an OT ass-blasting.<\/p>\n<h2>And then, you look up and you see local legend and former 7-year NFL-vet Danny Noonan and you realize everything is going to be OK.<\/h2>\n<p>Men want to <em>be him<\/em>, women want to\u00a0<em>be with him<\/em>. So you go up to him, shake his oaken hand and ask him about the current state of the NFL.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3567\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3567\" style=\"width: 181px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-3567 size-full lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/danny-noonan-cowboys-football-card.jpg\" alt=\"Danny Noonan 1990 Pro Set NFL Card\" width=\"181\" height=\"254\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/danny-noonan-cowboys-football-card.jpg 181w, https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/danny-noonan-cowboys-football-card-14x20.jpg 14w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 181px) 100vw, 181px\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-3567 size-full lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/danny-noonan-cowboys-football-card.jpg\" alt=\"Danny Noonan 1990 Pro Set NFL Card\" width=\"181\" height=\"254\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/danny-noonan-cowboys-football-card.jpg 181w, https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/danny-noonan-cowboys-football-card-14x20.jpg 14w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 181px) 100vw, 181px\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3567\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">That\u2019s blood, crotch blood, on his leg you snatch. In Africa, if you drink Noonan\u2019s crotch blood pre-battle, you are ensured the strength of 10 men.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s a lot different than when I played, said Noonan. \u201cAs a defensive lineman in the 80\u2019s and 90\u2019s, nobody cared about concussions. So it\u2019s changed a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>What about the QB\u2019s of the modern era compared to the NFL\u2019s former incarnation?<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThey wouldn\u2019t last a minute. All the rules benefit them now. When I played, guys were getting physically destroyed on every play, then getting up for some more.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It\u2019s a completely different game now. Hey, things change, it\u2019s moved on. I don\u2019t spend much time watching it (the NFL) anymore. I\u2019ve moved on.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>It was ironic to talk about \u201cmoving on\u201d while 50+ thirty-somethings played Tecmo Super Bowl, a <a href=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/sports-video-games\/\">video game<\/a> launched in 1991, for cash prizes.<\/h2>\n<p>And especially when some dude interrupted us to get Noonan to sign his TSB cartridge, as Noonan is featured in the game. The dude giggled like an apartheid major meeting Nelson Mandela.<\/p>\n<p>And we all went on to lead productive lives, including a 3-0 first round playoff victory with the Bears over the <a href=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/football\/nfl\/kansas-city-chiefs\/\">Chiefs<\/a> for yours truly, before getting thrashed 24-3 by arguably the best Tecmo Super Bowl player on earth at the current moment, and getting bounced from the tourney.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3568 lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/hot-chick-eating-banana.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"475\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3568 lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/hot-chick-eating-banana.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"475\" \/><\/noscript><\/p>\n<p>Driving home listening to Ghostface Killah\u2019s seminal\u00a0<em>Ironman<\/em>\u00a0album by myself, I think Ghost summed it up best when he said, \u201cI shitted on your hood kid\/I shitted on your hood.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The things we do for love.<\/p>\n<h3>Related Tecmo Super Bowl content:<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Randall Cunningham\u2019s 1990 Season: Greatest NFL Season Ever<\/li>\n<li>Top 5 Retro NBA Video Games: Which Was Best?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My Tecmo Super Bowl Tournament performance on this day was a lot like my second sexual experience &#8211; just stupid [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3563,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1918],"tags":[1705],"class_list":["post-3562","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-football","tag-football"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>One Time At Band\u2026er, a Tecmo Super Bowl Tourny I Met Danny Noonan<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Danny Noonan walks into a bar for a Tecmo Super Bowl tournament\u2026and I question my sexuality. 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